Friday, October 7, 2011

Romantic Friday Writers: Rock Candy

Here is my entry for the Romantic Friday Writers challenge hosted by Francine Howarth and L'Aussie each Friday. This is a fun challenge with a winner every week. There are no prizes, just recognition. If you write, you may want to join and let your writing skills be tested.

When I saw Rock Candy, I envisioned the confection common to The Rocky Mountain region known by the same name and made to appear as rocks. I guess Rock Candy can also mean rock n' roll bands and groupies. I hope no one will mind if I take my story from the sunny seaside and crazy fans to the Colorado high country. Enjoy!

**

Jessica finished her display with clustered candies made to look like rocks along the river banks of Colorado. In five minutes her dream, her café, would open. It featured two cappuccino machines, hot cocoa, pastries and a variety of candies. A fabulous chocolate sculpture of a child took center stage.  Red paint decorated the doors while black and white checker board tiles lined the floor. Small tables and chairs gave potential customers a place to sit and enjoy Jessica's treats. Would anyone come?

She'd worked hard, finishing her degree in the culinary arts while struggling to raise a four year old daughter alone. Her ex-boyfriend was currently in jail for domestic abuse. Those memories intruded. For a moment Jessica felt the bruises that had marred her beauty and still scared her heart.

Smoothing her hands along the pristine pink apron she opened her store for business. Phillip, her partner for a year in school entered. Tall and handsome, blond curls wrapped around his ears. She hadn't heard from him since graduation four months ago. Even with the strong scents of coffee and chocolate he was close enough for her to breathe in his after shave.

He smiled. "You did it Jess, what a fantastic place."

"Thanks."

"I lost your number," he said.

Jessica moved behind the counter. "Really? I didn't know you had it."

"Sure you did. I pestered you for two months before you gave it to me."

"Why did you lose it then?"

"Fate."

What a stupid thing to say to her. "Coffee? Hot Cocoa?"

"Jess."

His voice went through her. The tears at the back of her eyes drizzled down and she had to turn away.

"If I hadn't lost your number, I never would have realized how dependent my heart was on seeing you, hearing your voice, tasting your creations."

The radio station began to play Celine Deon singing 'My Heart Will Go On.' Phillip reached for her hand and Jessica realized he had come around the counter and stood beside her. In a graceful move he pulled her close and began to dance before the pastries. She was certain her heart would leap out of her chest and join his when he pressed his lips against hers.

"Marry me?" Phillip said when his kiss ended.

A crowd of customers had entered and they broke into applause.

Her smile answered for her.                                                                               

Word count: 396 (I had to cut 100 words, ugh.)

To read more Romantic Friday Writers challenge post go here.

Nancy

19 comments:

Margo Benson said...

Truly romantic and delightful AND amoungst glorious tasties!

Francine Howarth: UK said...

Hi,

Nice one, Nancy!

Good precise descriptions, and nice touch of angst as she opened up for business. So loved the way Philip took the lead in this. There has to be more, surely. Bummer how the word count can leave a reader hanging! ;)

best
F

Adura Ojo said...

Love the description and the background to this story. Her smile answered for her...lovely romantic scenes captured here, Nancy.

Ruth Madison said...

Lovely descriptions! I think this story yearns to be longer :)

N. R. Williams said...

Thank you Margo, Francine, Adura and Ruth. I appreciate all your comments and am truly delighted that you enjoyed my story. There is a story behind this story but it is all fiction, trust me.

It's Friday. I have a ton of errands but I will be to see you all as soon as I can.
Nancy

Beverly Diehl said...

This works well, even with the cuts.

If I may suggest, flip these two sentences: "Tall and handsome, blond curls wrapped around his ears. She hadn't heard from him since graduation four months ago." That way, we move right from his description into the rest of it, his aftershave, and really pick up on her attraction to him.

You've got me rooting for these two to make it, and for Jess's business to be a smashing hit, as well. I'm ready to walk right in and order a cup of something.

Scheherazade said...

I like the opening description. You cover a lot of ground here with so few words.

The Golden Eagle said...

Sweet story! :)

Deniz Bevan said...

Aww, how sweet! I wish the shop was real :-)

Anna said...

Dear Nancy,
I really like this. I'm tearing up!
What a lovely story! I'm right there cheering for Jessica and Phillip with the rest of the coffee-guests!
Best wishes,
Anna
Anna's RFWers' Challenge No. 22-'Rock Candy'

N. R. Williams said...

Thanks Beverly, without edits and crit partners I'm pleased there weren't more issues.

Thanks Sche...that is a real compliment.

Hi Golden, and Deniz thanks for your comments and for stopping by.

High praise, thanks Anna.

Nancy

Nas Dean said...

So sweetly romantic!

N. R. Williams said...

Thank you Nas.
Nancy

Madeleine said...

Nancy I thought I had visited all the entries, but must have missed yours. A lovely, romantic piece. Well done for becoming FW runner up.

L'Aussie said...

Nancy, congrats on being our harlot as Francine likes to say, for the week. Love your story. Must admit when I first heard of the theme (F picked this one) all I could think of was that old C & W song, The Big Rock Candy Mountain, ha ha.

Denise

N. R. Williams said...

No problem Madeleine, thanks for coming by.

That's funny Denise.

Thank you both for stopping by. I appreciate it.
Nancy

Andy said...

Hello.
I'm late in visiting some of last week's entries.

This is just so romantic.
No better way for a grand opening than a spot of love & romance (smile).

Very nicely done, Nancy & belated congratulations on being runner-up. I think the Harlot Badge is awesome!

N. R. Williams said...

Hi Andy.
Thanks so much.
Nancy

Savera Naidu said...

~Woah I`m commenting years too late x.x Anyway, the ending was so adorable! :D N I really like the description of the shop ^w^