Wednesday, July 6, 2016

Insecure Writer's Support Group

The first Wednesday in July means it's time for another Insecure Writer's post. Brain child of Alex J. Cavanguah. To read what others have to say go here.

So...what are you insecure about?...or what are you encouraged about?

Well...it seems to me that both emotions ebb and flow like the tide. Today I'm going to share my greatest insecurity. It's a whopper, no cheese added.

Yes...here it is. My big ugly problem. I have a lot of great reviews. Even so, I don't believe anything I do is good enough. The euphoria of a good review will last a few hours. Once it lasted all day. It evaporates like dew on a sunny morning. Why?

I am a survivor of abuse. From my father who belittled me. From my mother who gave me mixed signals, saying I was mentally challenged, (I had a learning disability,) to saying I was brilliant with my artistic abilities and then saying I'd never make money at anything I mentioned as an interest. Confusing. I was a brilliant loser who would never amount to anything unless I became a nurse like her. I had no interest in nursing and still don't.

In my early twenties I joined a Christian free group. I was the happiest I'd ever been and then...the elder decided I would like a certain brother who I knew didn't like me. This brother did everything in his power to ignore me and even lied about me to others making me into his scapegoat. The same elder said we couldn't see each other and told all the brothers I wanted to marry them. Ridiculous. Remember my father. I was afraid of men. It took everything inside of me to open up to that brother. Once I was off limits he decided he wanted me after all and started staring at me in every meeting until I developed panic attacks. Over a year. I was excommunicated and moved away. But the fear has never left.

That should do it right? No...I got married. My father-in-law died three years into our marriage and my mother-in-law had terminal cancer. When that happened my husband suddenly remembered his abusive childhood and just like that, he became an abuser. Life was hell. I tried to find a job that paid well enough so I could take the kids and leave. I begged my mother to help me and her response was, "I'll take the kids." No way was I going to abandon my children. The church I was in wouldn't help. My friends wouldn't help. I got to a point where I couldn't cry anymore. My world was darkness.

So, how did I survive? I started writing. All the fears, all the horrors, all my insecurities became fodder for my characters. And...in that process I started to heal. My mother took up writing also when she retired, so I finally had something she approved of. Remember that learning disability? I was switched from my left hand to my right and flunked English grammar. I joined a writers group and learned grammar and how to write. I never had the money to leave my husband and he made sure I never had enough money to go back to school. He has changed though. He found Jesus and has mellowed. There is no more abuse.

Still...scars remain and I suspect my friends get tired of telling me they love my books. So here to you all. I appreciate everyone who tries to encourage me and who buys my book to read it. Soon I'll have a new book cover and also print copies. For now my epic fantasy is an e-book on Amazon and so are the other books in the side bar. I'd really appreciate it if anyone who hasn't read them yet and left a review would do so. The sequel is with my editor and a short story is in the submission process. My motto: Never give up, never surrender.

Cheers,
Nancy



Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Insecure Writer's Support Group. Discouraged


IWSG was started by Alex J. Cavanaugh and is designed to encourage and support us writer's who struggle with insecurity. To read other post go here.

I got the blues. It happens to all of us. I don't get them very often. A few years ago I was depressed for a long time but that was 100% related to a severe illness. Now, I'm just down.

Why?

Well...I know that I am a talented writer. Anytime I doubt that I can read my reviews or connect with my critique group and they will tell me, but...

Who the heck invented the word 'but' anyway?

But...I am self published and I'm still struggling for readers to find me. I have a plan, and I'm stubborn enough to follow through with it. Still...

Every time I enter a contest to get published I'm over looked. No explanation. While others around me, some of them I've read, get their work published.

Yes, I've read a few of these people, not all as I said. A handful only and they are not as good a writer as I am. No, I'm not a snob. I've been doing this for close to thirty years and I know good writing. So...why am I not offered a spot in someone's publication?

Well...I don't search out publishers and try very hard because I was humiliated at a conference once and my self esteem can't take to much rejection. My life has been full of rejection and abuse, so I fear too much of the same will silence my muse permanently.

Any suggestions? Any advice? Does Alice have a happy pill?
Nancy

Friday, April 29, 2016

Book Review, Unity, Laura Maisano



 
Unity

Illirin Book Two

By Laura Maisano

Unity continues were Shism left off. War has torn Illirin apart and it’s up to Gabe and Lea to combine the resistance on Illirin and magic to fight for what they’ve lost. Maisano blends Earth and Illirin, humans and the combined species of Illirin who share more than they differ in a kaleidoscope of emotions, anger, justice and revenge. With Lea’s stubborn will and strong moral compass and Gabes drive to right wrongs, they battle a human wizard and a power hungry politician.
            More than one life is at stake, but two planets which are linked together. Will Gabe and Lea prevail? Or will Illirin forever loose its freedom and earth follow into a global dictatorship? Unity is a marvelous fantasy read.

To order from Amazon go here.

Monday, April 25, 2016

New Cover Vote

Hi everyone. I need your help. A choice of two covers for The Treasures of Carmelidrium. The current cover is of a castle only and is displayed on my side bar. So please let me know what you think.

Thank you.

1.


2.


Sunday, April 10, 2016

Schism, by Laura Maisano a book review


Schism, by Laura Maisano, is a fantasy that explores the dual connection between two worlds, Earth and Illirin. A debut novel for Ms. Maisano, her characters Gabe and Lea are partners in the discovery of an alternate world behind the schism. As their adventure progresses we learn that Gabe is actually from this other world and has lost his memory. As they explore the two worlds looking for answers, Lea frees her parents and Gabe’s memory is recovered. That alone would make for a page turning story but there’s more.


Gabe is really Makai and his parents are murdered by an evil Councilman who utilizes a wizard from earth. While Gabe plots to ensure his home is safe, Lea joins forces to fight the wizard. Maisano weaves twists and turns around two very different characters who begin to fall in love, all while trying to save two worlds. The first book in a series, Schism is a must read for fantasy lovers. 

Here are the links to buy Schism:







Thanks for coming by.
Nancy