Friday, June 17, 2011

Romantic Friday Writers: Up, up and away


Romantic Friday Writers if the brain child of L'Aussie and Francine Howarth. It is a blogfest of the highest order followed by RWA. Each week a different theme is presented and you can take up the gauntlet or pass if life has made you too busy. You do not have to join RWA, but it might be a good idea. I haven't done that yet for financial reasons. There is a link that you can follow at the end of my post.

Today the theme for Romantic Friday Writers is up, up and away. We are to write our character having a change of heart or direction in 400 words or less. This doesn’t mean a balloon ride in Kansas or a trip to the moon, just life changing with a romantic undercurrent or over current depending on your point view.

I present for your enjoyment an excerpt from my book, The Treasures of Carmelidrium, chapter 26. I had to tweak it to make it less than 400 words. It comes in at 399 words.

For those who don't know, Missie is a modern American flutist who has been thrust through a portal to an alternate medieval world.


**

Thoughts of Healden clouded Missie’s mind and her lower lip began to tremble.

“My Lady, are you crying?” 

Missie’s pent up frustration unleashed a torrent of emotions. She covered her face with both hands and sobbed.

“What’s wrong with me?”

Vevina came around the chair, knelt and gave her a handkerchief. Missie wiped her eyes and noisily blew her nose. Then she studied Vevina’s freckled face.

“One minute I’m fine, the next I’m in tears. I love this place and I hate it. I want to be with…Healden.”  Her voice broke. “And at the same time…” 

Vevina took her hands. “You are in love, my Lady.” 

“In love?” The words choked from Missie as if forced by an excess of air.

“Everyone can see it but you. When his highness is near, you glow. And the way he looks at you—”

Missie pulled her hands away and cupped them in her lap to quell the tremors that made them shake.

“But…how can I be in love?  We aren’t from the same world?”

“You speak as if you’re different creatures and not human.”

“The king hates me. He doesn’t speak to me and when he does, he’s always gruff.”  

“The king loves you. He spent hours at your side while you were ill. He cares for you, my Lady, as a king over a favored subject.”

Missie searched the girl’s face. “But, what about my home…my family?”

“Does not a woman leave her home when she meets the man she loves?”

“But, you can always visit.” The tears spilled over Missie’s cheeks and she wiped her eyes with a clean cloth.

“My Lady, I have a cousin who loved a man from the south of Gil-Lael. She married him and moved away.
We have not seen her since.” 

“But…”

“You believe that you will return home someday.”

“Yes.” 

Vevina stood, moved behind Missie to brush her hair. “My Lady, you already know that some have arrived from different lands and places, as you did.”

Missie watched Vevina’s reflection in the mirror, her tiny brows pulled together as she worked.

“About seventy-five years ago, a man came to Terrel. It is said he had a great talent, but no one remembers what he could do. He traveled everywhere looking for a door back to his land. In the end, he died having wasted his life, in pursuit of the impossible.”

I hope you enjoyed that. (399 words).         

To read the other great entries or to join and write your own romantic post go here.

Nancy

P.S. Catie at Hidden Passions Book Review is giving away over 40 books. She is a wonderful lady and good blogging friend. Go check it out. Link.

20 comments:

Margo Benson said...

Realising you've fallen in love is certainly life changing! A good take on the theme, Nancy.

Andy said...

Hello Nancy.

Poor Missy...torn between two worlds!
As a true romantic, I always say love finds a way to overcome the impossible.

I really enjoyed this excerpt.

andymac89 said...

Great tale. I can't agree more with your pragmatic point of home being where you make it and not just where you come from.

Joanne said...

There's a certain sadness to this excerpt too. To want conflicting things, and have the heart pulled, isn't easy.

N. R. Williams said...

True, Margo.

I agree Andy.

I agree with you as well, andymac.

Tension even in love. Thanks Joanne.

Thank you all for coming by and leaving a comment.
Nancy

Francine Howarth said...

Hi,

Poor Missie, torn between the devilish pull of Healden and the loss of her former life. Not an easy thing to face up to, and I'd best shut up now because I've read the book. It's great story, and for anyone who has yet to read "The Treasures of Carmelidrium", go get it!! You won't regret your purchase.

best
F

Beverly Diehl said...

Vevina comes across sometimes as a peer, sometimes as a servant. If she is a servant, she's crossed some lines she shouldn't, and we should see some conflict there; she knows she shouldn't do XYZ (like taking Missie's hands) but this poor wandering lady needs extra help. Maybe she apologies for stepping outside her place or being too familiar.

"Missie watched Vevina’s reflection in the mirror, her tiny brows pulled together as she worked." I'm not clear whose brows are pulling together here, assuming it's Vevina working on Missie's hair?

Also, I'd like to see a little difference in the dialogue. Vevina needs to sound a little more medieval.

I like the ending of this piece very much, and of course, the whole premise.

N. R. Williams said...

Your support of my book is greatly appreciated Francine.

Beverly, the language is intentional due to my desire to reach all readers. Missie herself has befriended Vevina in an earlier chapter and just like all good modern Americans treats her like an equal.

Thank you both for stopping by and leaving a comment.
Nancy

Jules said...

I always wondered about that passage, was falling in love or not going home the cause of the tears?

Nice excerpt Nancy, Have a GREAT weekend! :)
Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

Beverly Diehl said...

Thanks for the clarification, Nancy - with these tiny snippets, it is so hard to express all the backstory. You have me truly caring about and believing in both these women - I mean characters :-) - and that points to a job well done.

N. R. Williams said...

I guess it's up to interpretation. Either could work. I think it's more about recognizing what is in your heart and accepting it. Thanks for coming by Jules.
Nancy

N. R. Williams said...

Thank you Beverly.
Nancy

Kittie Howard said...

Great job, Nancy. The Medieval period is an absolute favorite. Loved how you set the tone and pulled me in...falling in love has its high moments, definitely an up, up, and away feeling. Beautiful!

N. R. Williams said...

Thanks Kittie, that means a lot to me.
Nancy

Marsha A. Moore said...

I enjoyed how the concept of falling in love took Missie by surprise. She did seem swept away. Great excerpt!

N. R. Williams said...

Thank you Marsha.
Nancy

Nas Dean said...

Hi Nancy,

I enjoyed the excerpt. Very interesting. It was great!

N. R. Williams said...

Thank you Nas.
Nancy

maddy said...

i truly enjoyed this post. Thanks for sharing!

Letters

N. R. Williams said...

You're welcome Maddy, thanks for coming by.
Nancy