Friday, July 8, 2011

Romantic Friday Writers: Forgiven

Romantic Friday Writers: Forgiven

Romantic Friday Writers if the brain child of L'Aussie and Francine Howarth. It is a blogfest of the highest order followed by RWA. Each week a different theme is presented and you can take up the gauntlet or pass if life has made you too busy. You do not have to join RWA, but it might be a good idea. I haven't done that yet for financial reasons. There is a link that you can follow at the end of my post.

Today the theme for Romantic Friday Writers is Forgiven. We are to write our character having a change of heart or direction in 400 words or less.


Lauren knew the truth. It settled in her stomach like rotten meat seasoned liberally with the salt of her lies and the pepper of her falsehood. How could she bring herself to tell Randall? He had been so kind to her. His love had worked like sunscreen to shield her from the UV rays of her memory. But…alas she knew she must face the painful decision she had regretted for the last decade. How would he respond? Randall, who had asked her to marry him, who wanted children.

Oh she loved him. She wanted to marry him and have those children. Yes and yes, but...if she waited to tell him, she might enjoy a few more happy years. God knew she needed happiness, complete with Randall's embrace.

Why had she been so foolish as a teenager? Her mother had warned her, but…she went to the party and got into the car. The crash that took the lives of her friends had left her alive but only partially. She broke her pelvis and lost the child she carried. Then came the discovery of her cancer and the doctors removed her uterus. She would never bare Randall's child. He would never forgive her.

Randall stood in her door. Casual attire, blue jeans and plaid shirt. His dark hair made those blue eyes more intense.

"Before we go out I must tell you something." Lauren bit her lower lip.

He kissed her cheek. She let him in and they sat on her sofa. Nerves made her palms moist and she rung her fingers like a terrycloth.

"What is it?" His beloved voice spoke those words and filtered through her defenses.

"I…" how could she say it?  "I can't marry you."


"You deserve better."

"You're kidding, right?

She shook her head. In her imagination she saw him grow angry and storm out of the house. If he did, Lauren would never have to tell him the truth. But he didn't. Instead he reached for her hand.

"I know you love me."

It was over. "I can't have children."

"What?" His confusion was like ice crystals shredding her love.

Oh God, she knew she must. She knew it was impossible to bury the truth along with her lost child, her lost innocence, her missing body part, so she told him.

"Come here you," Randall said. "You are my love. I am completed by you."

Word count: 400

I had to edit this one a lot to cut it back to 400. One of the good things about this weekly challenge is learning how to pack a punch in less words. I hope you enjoyed my submission. To read the other 'Forgiven' offerings go here.



Ishta Mercurio said...

Neat blogfest! I enjoyed your entry; I liked the way you took us through her thoughts about why she couldn't marry Randall. Thanks for sharing it.

Donna Hole said...

"You are my love. I am completed by you."

Does any line state romance better that this? Wow, that was powerful; to forgive anything for the chance of a life partner. Way cool.


Raquel Byrnes said...

That was such a wonderful ending! I was so worried over his reaction. Way to suck me right in with this.
Edge of Your Seat Romance

Andy said...

Nancy, I had a lump in my throat reading this.
I love the opening lines.
Even though she should have told Randall the truth right from the start, I'm proud of Randall.

This was a beautiful tale of love & forgiveness & even more love.

N. R. Williams said...

I hope you join us Ishta.

Hi praise from you Donna, Raquel and Andy. I am so glad you all enjoyed my entry. I can't wait to read yours.

Francine Howarth said...


Oh my, such an agonising thing to reveal, and a touching piece. Loved the last line: perfect! ;)


Joanne said...

In the end, love conquers all, doesn't it. Great story, Nancy. What a challenge this exercise is to really hone our stories down to the effective words.

N. R. Williams said...

Thanks Francine.

It truly is Joanne.

Thank you both for coming by.

Beverly Diehl said...

Like the way you are consistent with your images - the rotten meat and the seasoning, the sunscreen and the UVA.

Wonderful ending, I love the way that what she imagines is a deal-breaker is nothing of the sort.

Paula Martin said...

Great, I could really empathise with her anguish.

Siv Maria said...

Beautiful Nancy. Wish I had time to join this fun, maybe someday. You did a really good job editing it down to the 400 words. I felt nothing was missing. Forgiveness is a wonderful thing to write about. Have a nice week-end.

N. R. Williams said...

Consistency is important in our writing Beverly.

Thanks Paula.

Hi Siv, it is a fun blogfest. I was hesitant at first but am really enjoying this. It gives me focus.

Thank you all for coming by.

Daydreamertoo said...

I'm so glad it had a happy ending. What kind of love would it have been if he couldn't love her because she couldn't give him a child. That wouldn't have been love, it would've been ego.
Thank goodness he wasn't egotisitcal.

A lovely read and, thanks for visiting me and the comment.

Heaven said...

Lovely story... and that ending lines of his was perfect!

N. R. Williams said...

Thank you Day for coming by and you're welcome.

Thanks Heaven.


tarunima said...

I wish there were more Randalls in this world-forgiving and loving:)
lovely entry:)

li said...

Wow, you managed to pack a lot into 400 words! And it read easily and clearly as well. An excellent job writing AND editing :)

Jules said...

What a great 400 words that was, fine job!

Wanted to let you know I have not shun you, just my temp job is killing me. Regular visits will be back soon. :)
Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

Nas Dean said...

Oh, I'm in love with Randall, such a sensitive guy!

N. R. Williams said...

Thank you Tarunima, Ii, Jules and Nas.

Jules, I know you are busy, no worries.