Back to Romantic Friday Writers. This is a blog fest. The challenge is to use the prompt to write a 400 word or less flash fiction story which includes romance. You may wonder why I participate since I write fantasy? Well, romance is a strong underlying sub-plot in my epic fantasy. Mainly because I don't think life is right without it.
To read other submissions or to join Romantic Friday Writers, go here.
She Wears My Ring
Robert felt as frenzied as a cat in heat. He pulled out the dresser drawer again and shoved his clothing aside only to realize the ring was missing. He had a dinner party two nights ago for his boss and co-workers. As far as he knew, the ring was still tucked away under his blue sweater when everyone left.
A chef by profession, Robert didn't doubt his skills in the kitchen. He looked forward to enticing his little nurse, Darlene, with Lobster, savory salad, brie cheese with crackers and chocolate dipped strawberries for desert. Magnolias floated in a low vase in green colored water, their strong scent somewhat over powered by the flavors emanating from the kitchen.
Robert left his bedroom. Darlene was in the attached bathroom. He had waited to put the Lobsters in until she arrived home. Disappointed that his plan was ruined, he lit the tapered green candles set in crystal candelabra's anyway. He brought out the food, the lobsters last and turned toward the bedroom door.
"Dinner's ready," he called.
Funny, he had never thought in romantic terms until Darlene. She entered the restaurant one evening, enjoyed his cooking and asked to meet him. If love could be a cliche, he thought theirs might be. But now, his proposal was ruined and the ring, a 1 carat in platinum, had cost him plenty. The moment he saw the antique style ring, he envisioned Darlene wearing it. A one of a kind, he couldn't replace it. Disappointment threatened to ruin the evening and gnaw at his stomach.
Music swelled from the Bose. Robert turned. Darlene stepped around the ottoman. Her walk sultry. She wore the black cocktail dress he had given her for Valentines Day. As she came closer, a flash drew his eyes to her finger that covered her chest. There, enticing and sweet, she wore his ring.
Word Count: 308
I hope you don't mind the lack of dialogue, it just wouldn't come to me. I look forward to reading all of yours.
Nancy
19 comments:
Ah, a mystery solved. She found the ring and couldn't wait to put it on her finger. No woman can resist a sparkly.
He's such a romantic, waiting for the right time and circumstance to give it to her. I like how you "show" her feminim whiles without switching to her POV. She says all her heart desires by displaying it on her hand, no matter his distress.
Well done Nancy.
........dhole
Dear Nancy,
I love this story! I agree with Donna that the lack of dialogue is not a minus. You show his care and worry over making everything right for his lady love. The ending is perfect! I see it all; the dress and her hand displaying the missing ring!
By the way, your award-winning text about Dip-and-Sway and What-Not is one of sources of inspiration for this, my last RFW-challenge.
Best wishes,
Anna
Anna's RFW-challenge No. 34 'She wears my ring'
Awesome Nancy! I loved it. I'm so glad she was wearing the ring in the end. Whew!
Bravo Anna!
This is your best yet, it has conflict and romance and is sensous, too.
I was relieved for Robert. You do show the way he feels adequately through his thoughts and actions. Well done.
Hi Donna
Switching POV in such a short piece is never a good idea. Thanks for your encouraging comment.
Hi Anna
I'll excited to see what you've written and hopefully I'll be by tomorrow. I'm sorry to hear you won't continue with RMFW.
Hi Carolyn
So glad you liked it. This proves that action is sometimes better than dialogue.
Hi Madeleine
Thanks so much for the compliment. I know you meant Nancy. LOL
Hi Joy
Thanks as well.
Nancy
Sorry Nancy yes, D'oh! I feel such a silly.
Apart from that cross-gender metaphore (I think I would have picked something more male like "frantic as a caged tiger"), this was absolutely perfect Nancy. If Denise doesn't chose you, I'm going to complain.
I enjoyed this,it works without dialogues as well.
All his worries came to naught and he doesn't even have to propose.
There is tension and romantic elements and a clever ending.
Dear Nancy,
Oh dear, did I write that?
I'm looking for a job! I may not have time to participate as often as I have been doing. (I have posted every single time since August 4th, 2011)
I was just wondering if I will be able to do this if I start working.
I don't really want to stop because I enjoy writing and reading all the different texts. I have also received some lovely comments and encouragement. I would really like to write something longer and get it published.
I have my ups and downs. I'll try to stick with this as much as time permits. I do feel that it is a privillege for me be among so many really good writers.
I'm sorry that I wrote the words 'last time'. I guess I was a little melodramatic.
Kind regards,
Anna
Gee, now I'm weely, weely skeered because of Weissdorn's comments.
I adored your story Nancy. You did have dialogue of the 'inner' kind. I love this kind of writing. The story was intriguing. My editor's picked up a few mixed tenses and mispellings but no one else has mentioned them, so maybe your story hooked them so badly they overlooked them, lol. They certainly don't detract from the strong storyline.
Well done Nancy.
Denise
Nancy,
Intriguing story. Nice twist at the end. Now how many women would have the courage to ruin his surprise when they discovered the ring?
Love the little twist - and storytelling from beginning to end. You had me at "nurse Darlene" and the surprise he had in store for her. Glad he was far from being disappointed. And of course all sorts of images popped into my head with what surprises of her own, Nurse Darlene might have in store for our hero. Ok, enough! Lol.
Hope things are getting easier and better with you and yours. Have a lovely week ahead, Nancy.
No problem, Madeleine. It made me smile.
I'm blushing Weissdom, thank you so much.
Hi Rek,
I'm glad you enjoyed my little story.
Hi Anna
No problem. I know what it's like to have to work and have little ones too. Good luck.
Hi Denise
Misspelled words, oh my. Here is the skinny. I got out of bed after 1 a.m. because I realized I hadn't written or posted anything. So I confess this is a last minute post and with sleepy eyes. Glad you liked it.
No idea Scheherazade. It's an intriguing idea.
Hi Adura
I don't know if you get The Food Network, but they have a show called Down Home with the Neeley's. This woman is so strong and opinionated and her man is so generous, always making her smile. I am inspired by them that all of us strong women have hope to find such a loving man.
Thank you all for coming by, reading and leaving a message.
Nancy
I have to ask, how did she get the ring. She's not a Klepto or is my imagination running away with me? LOL
I enjoyed this piece, Nancy. I think it works well without the dialogue and fits the theme brilliantly.
Well done.
Hi Kiru
I asked the same question along with others like, why didn't Robert get upset? But in flash fiction, much is left unsaid.
Thanks for coming by.
Nancy
Hello Nancy.
WoW! To be able to write like this all sleepy-eyed is amazing! All the effort he put in...he's definitely a keeper & what an affirmative "yes" on her part to sashay in with the ring on her finger! I too would like to know how she found it & why he wasn't in a state at having lost it in the first place. I know I'd be a total wreck! (smile) Enjoyed this story. Thanks for sharing.
Hope you're doing better.
We watch "Down Home With The Neeley's" on occasion. Pat & Gina compliment each other really well.
The Beloved
Hi Andy
Thanks for the compliment. I paid my dues. For over 18 years I was a member on a regular basis of an in person critique group. You wouldn't believe how often my stuff was shredded to the core. LOL
The Neeley's are great, I should email them.
Nancy
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