Insecure Writer's Support Group: Toxic People.
The Insecure Writer's Support Group is hosted by Alex J. Cavanaugh and post on the first Wednesday of the month. To read my previous post go here.
Part two of positive reinforcement is 'Toxic People.'
I've heard many times that I need to distance myself from toxic people. What is a toxic person? An unsupportive person who seems to thrive on the negatives in your life, not necessarily theirs. As I shared last month, I am toxic when I'm sick. My post last month covered how I manage to pull myself out.
It is easy to say, avoid toxic people. It is not so easy to do especially if the toxic people in your life are family members. I have several, but there is one person who stands out; my sister.
She is the opposite of me in everyway. She is older. For years I longed to have a loving relationship with her; to go shopping and to share our hopes and dreams with one another. But my sister is not interested in having anything to do with me. I am beneath her. If I share something important, she will twist it and spread it around the family until I don't recognize the original thought. (I used to get calls from my mother wanting to know why I did something that I didn't do.)
Toxic people hurt you.
Eventually…and I do mean years and years of this kind of negative input made me reach a decision that I would never talk to my sister again. I simply got tired of the battles, of the disappointments, of the lies. She is threatened by my writing abilities, or so it seems. Do I still want her in my life? Yes and no. She is my sister and there will always be a side of me that desires a relationship with her. But she is also a matriarchal figure. She must be the best, have the best, be more important, have the nicer house and car, successful children, blah, blah, blah. Failure is not an option and when it occurs, my sister will short circuit and somehow blame me, or someone else.
It is much easier to walk away from a toxic friend. But family presents a whole different problem.
How do you deal with difficult situations that have the potential to bring you down?