For the last five years or more I have thought come January 1st, that things couldn't possibly get worse, and yet they do. I have faced one adversity after another, sometimes thinking I wouldn't make it through. But in every situation from nearly dying to being homeless and many more I haven't posted about, I give my heavy heart and the desperation to Jesus. What can I say? Without God I surely would have perished by now.
At this writing I am faced with yet another heavy loss and have cried more than once. Yesterday, I saw my mother for the last time in her lifetime. Today, by the request of her husband, his son is flying them to Seattle, Washington where they will live out their lives. My mother has congestive heart failure along with a host of medical conditions related to that as well as other problems. She is 92 and will be 93 in June. In addition, she has dimenshsia. In the last two weeks, she's been in and out of the hospital twice. She's on oxygen and a special diet. Her husband is in complete denial over her condition and wants to control the situation which includes eliminating her diet needs and oxygen and has told her she won't need them in Washington. If she survives the plane trip it will be a miracle. Not so much from the high altitude, but from exhaustion.
So there you have it, a source of diblitating anxiety and worry. Yesterday, I told her that I loved her and nothing could separate us from our love. She did likewise. That is my comfort. Last night I couldn't write.
So how did I fill the three hours of our last visit? By keeping things positive. I told her how tulips bloom in Washington in February. I told her about a TV special I saw about bird island and described different birds to her. She is a published author too, so I told her about my current WIP and showed her my published work on my kindle. We talked about my childhood experiences. My husband was with me so my mom talked to him too. Her memory is such that sometimes she mixes up current events she's seen on TV with things she did as a child. That can be a challenge. She told me she needed to get back to writing. I agreed with her, after all, writers are writing even in their heads all the time.
Today, I will continue to write, I'm almost done. I will read the submissions from my critique partners. But my heart and thoughts are flying to Washington.
Nancy
To read other inscure post go here/
