Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Writing from an Animal’s Perspective:

Hump Day Improvisation will return next week. Today is a blog-fest, writing from an animal’s perspective, hosted by Dayana at Writing from the Wrogan. Stop by and read the other entries.

I’ve considered this for awhile. Which animal should I choose? Lions and tigers and bears oh my. See if you can guess before I tell you.

The dry grass scratched my under belly as I followed Sam. I could learn from her. She is such a wonderful huntress. Our young played together not far away. Barney sat and watched, his tongue lolling in the summer heat.

Sam crouched low in the grass. I did the same and ended up plopping down ungracefully.

Sam inched forward. She lifted right side legs, front and rear, at the same time. Then the left side, getting closer…closer to her prey. She pounced, grabbed the delicious treat, a grasshopper. With head held high and a live grasshopper dangling from her mouth, she pranced back to her young and presented them with the delicacy.

My turn. I stood. I lifted my right leg and then…my rear leg trembled, but it wouldn’t obey my command. I finally managed to get both short legs off the ground and immediately fell on my side. Embarrassed, I righted myself. I tried again, with the same result. A grasshopper teased me nearby. My young deserved this treat as much as Sam’s.

My stocky legs were not made for sneaking up on prey, yet I would give a valiant effort. I jumped on the grasshopper. He hopped away without a scratch. I ran. The grasshopper went airborne and landed on a weed. I tried again without any luck.

The German Sheppard who lived two doors down ran up to our chain link fence with fierce intent and barked at us. Sam acted immediately. She ran toward the dog and sprang over the fence. Claws outstretched, she landed on his back. He yelped and ran with Sam chasing after him. I forgot the grasshopper and ran to Sam’s defense and the defense of our young. Barney joined me. We barked at the neighbor dog and ran on our short Dachshund legs along the fence.

Sam returned, checked her kittens and then my pups. She caught another grasshopper and presented it to my young. Thank you brave Sam, my friend.

This is a true story. It was hilarious to watch a short Dachshund trying to imitate a stealthy cat. Samantha was my brother’s cat. Barney was the family dog and the heroine of the story, Heidi, was my sister’s dog. May they all hunt grasshoppers together in the great beyond.

I hope I didn’t make any glaring mistakes. I like to run any story by my critique group. But the bug I have prevented me from attending. Sigh…you can tell me if it is awful or half-way good.

27 comments:

Nicole MacDonald said...

Its such a cute concept :) I can just picture an adoring doggy doing this *grin* gorgeous!

www.damselinadirtydress.com

Rachna Chhabria said...

Nancy, this is such a good story. I enjoyed every moment of it, especially when the dog tried to copy the graceful Sam. It made me laugh. I loved the ending.
I am enjoying being a part of the Animal Writes Blog Fest and reading everyone's entries.

Rachna

N. R. Williams said...

Thank you Nicole for such a nice complement.

Rachna, I'm very happy you enjoyed the story and thank you as well for the complement.
Nancy

Jeffrey Beesler said...

Interesting take on a dachshund. I wasn't sure what animal it was until the barking came along. Great way to keep me guessing!

N. R. Williams said...

Thanks Jeffrey, it was fun to write this story. I was 16 at the time.
Nancy

Jules said...

Well the grasshopper gave away it was not a Lion. I rather enjoyed this little story, made me laugh :)

I picked a dog also. Good story Nancy.
Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

Joanne said...

Great story, I enjoyed not knowing and having to decipher the animal. I had my suspicions with the stocky legs! Isn't real life the best source for our stories?

MJenks said...

One of my main characters in the manuscript I'm shopping is a deer. You're right; you have to think completely different for the character. I also have a fox, but he's a supporting character and we don't see his POV. But the deer (and his father) are both major characters with lots of POV. It's tough. You did a good job here capturing the mood and perspective.

The Golden Eagle said...

I love this! The idea of a Dachsund trying to imitate a cat made me smile. :)

MT said...

Oh, I have a doxy and she's been catching grasshoppers all week.
In our family, we've come up with an animal to represent each family member. I'm a llama - big brown eyes, soft and strong, but sometimes spits. :)

N. R. Williams said...

Jules, thanks.

Joanne, life gives us a lot of examples.

MJenks, I love deer. I bet you're story is great.

Thanks Golden.

MT, a Ilama...wonderful picture especially the spitting.

Thank you all for leaving a comment.
Nancy

Holly Ruggiero said...

The was so darn adorable. I love that Sam caught a grasshopper for the MC. ;)

N. R. Williams said...

Thanks Holly...Sam did things all the time for those two dogs. But she also teased them mercilessly. Another story for another time perhaps.
Nancy

Quinn said...

I'll come back to read this later (need to get to sleep now). Just wanted to let you know that I've given you an award on my blog.

Ken Lindsey said...

Great story, I'm sure it was as fun to watch as it was to write!

lettucehead said...

This was interesting! Very well written :-)

Carolyn Abiad said...

Very cute! The clues were like a moving target.

Marieke said...

Haha, absolutely lovely story! :)

N. R. Williams said...

Thank you Quinn.

Ken, I was laughing out loud.

Thank you for such a nice compliment lettucehead.

I hadn't thought about clues in association with moving targets before Carolyn, great analogy.

Thank you Marieke.

Everyone's comment was greatly appreciated.
Nancy

J.C. Martin said...

I would have loved to see that! Cats and Dachsunds hunting grasshoppers together! Wouldn't have guessed you had more than one species involved!

Clarissa Draper said...

I was trying so hard to figure out what it was. But I think Dachsunds are so cute.

CD

N. R. Williams said...

I'm glad I kept both of you guessing.

Thank you J.C. and Clarissa for leaving a comment.
Nancy

Dayana Stockdale said...

I love how playful it is and that you start the action straight away. No glaring mistakes from where I'm sitting, just pure fun! Glad you participated. Thanks!

N. R. Williams said...

Thank you Dayana for hosting this blog-fest and thank you for your kind words.
Nancy

roh morgon said...

This is a very cute story, and well-written. I really had no clue what animals we were dealing with until near the end.

You capture the dogginess and kittiness perfectly - nice job!

Anika said...

Hey mom I remember this story, you always told it to us, it was one of my favorites. It always made me want a dachshund. I love your blog!

N. R. Williams said...

Thank you roh, I'm glad you liked it.

Hey precious, thank you for taking the time to drop on by. Love Mom.

I appreciate both comments.

Nancy