Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Insecure Writer's Support Group: Mom

Greetings. Another first Wednesday of the month and thanks to Alex J. Cavanaugh another IWSG post.

For the last five years or more I have thought come January 1st, that things couldn't possibly get worse, and yet they do. I have faced one adversity after another, sometimes thinking I wouldn't make it through. But in every situation from nearly dying to being homeless and many more I haven't posted about, I give my heavy heart and the desperation to Jesus. What can I say? Without God I surely would have perished by now.

At this writing I am faced with yet another heavy loss and have cried more than once. Yesterday, I saw my mother for the last time in her lifetime. Today, by the request of her husband, his son is flying them to Seattle, Washington where they will live out their lives. My mother has congestive heart failure along with a host of medical conditions related to that as well as other problems. She is 92 and will be 93 in June. In addition, she has dimenshsia. In the last two weeks, she's been in and out of the hospital twice. She's on oxygen and a special diet. Her husband is in complete denial over her condition and wants to control the situation which includes eliminating her diet needs and oxygen and has told her she won't need them in Washington. If she survives the plane trip it will be a miracle. Not so much from the high altitude, but from exhaustion.

So there you have it, a source of diblitating anxiety and worry. Yesterday, I told her that I loved her and nothing could separate us from our love. She did likewise. That is my comfort. Last night I couldn't write.

So how did I fill the three hours of our last visit? By keeping things positive. I told her how tulips bloom in Washington in February. I told her about a TV special I saw about bird island and described different birds to her. She is a published author too, so I told her about my current WIP and showed her my published work on my kindle. We talked about my childhood experiences. My husband was with me so my mom talked to him too. Her memory is such that sometimes she mixes up current events she's seen on TV with things she did as a child. That can be a challenge. She told me she needed to get back to writing. I agreed with her, after all, writers are writing even in their heads all the time.

Today, I will continue to write, I'm almost done. I will read the submissions from my critique partners. But my heart and thoughts are flying to Washington.


To read other inscure post go here


Lisa said...

Oh Nancy, I'm so sorry to hear this, and also so very happy for you that you had such a meaningful visit with her before she goes. I lost my father two years ago and I don't know what I'd do, or will do, if I lost my mother as well. I know we all come to that time in our lives, but that doesn't make it any easier when it actually happens. I got irate for you when I read this. There are so many "selfish" people in the world. I know her husband is probably in a lot of pain as well, but that doesn't make it easier for you losing her because of this move. My prayers are with you and her. Thank you for sharing...Lisa, co-host #IWSG, @

Southpaw HR Sinclair said...

I'm sorry things have been so bad for so long. This is a hard one too. Be well.

Hart Johnson said...

Nancy, I am SO sorry you are going through something so hard. It is really hard to be helpless when someone we love is having trouble. I really hope you have a supportive network near you to lean on and I will send some peace mojo your direction as it sounds like your heart could use some.

Andrea Franco-Cook said...

My mother used to say "No matter how bad you have it, there's always someone else who has it worse." Well, you're that person. I'm so sorry to hear about your mother's illness, and all the other issues you've been battling. I will definitely keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

N. R. Williams said...

Thanks everyone.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Nancy, I'm sorry! How terrible her husband is in denial. I hope yesterday with her was special.

N. R. Williams said...

Thanks Alex.

Adrienne Reiter said...

Hi Nancy,

You are a brave, strong woman. You've got the right attitude, write! Turn your sorrow in to something tangible to be shared.

Just another fellow writer showing her support. (and trying not to sound like a fortune cookie)


N. R. Williams said...

I love fortune cookies. Thanks Adrienne.

Denise Covey said...

Nancy, this is a heartfelt post. It is such a wrench to have your mother flown so far away and her circumstances sound terrible. The last thing she needs is a husband in denial. Still, it was lovely you talked about writing and you showed her your books. I hope your mother does keep writing in her head.

Congratulations on finished your ms. I hope the critiques spur you on to bigger and better things.

Denise :-)

N. R. Williams said...

Thanks Denise
Yes, my mom said she had to get back to writing.

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